*** Time for this post? Reading…a couple minutes. Viewing…15 minutes. Changing your attitude…no time at all.
I started an exploration of fear of aging with Scilla Elworthy’s perspective. Today’s post is about a common fear that she didn’t mention—losing authority over our lives. It happens. More, and sooner, than it needs to in many cases.
*** Time for this post? Reading…5 minutes. Considering…the rest of your life.
I’ve been wondering…if aging is a stage of human development, then what are our tasks as we move through this stage.
So I asked someone I knew would have ideas about this. Nora Bitner is a Therapist. Mother. Grandmother. Great-grandmother. Writer. Thinker. And did I mention that Nora is 90 years old? At the end of a message on another topic, she said… Continue reading
*** Time for this post? Reading…5 minutes. Viewing…11 minutes. Practising…until it becomes automatic.
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about being with a person who is dying. Mostly it was about what to say and not say. The same questions arise when visiting, or living with, a person who has dementia. What to say? What not to say?
I’ve known two people who developed dementia. In the old days, we had such good conversations! When that was no longer possible, I stopped visiting. I wish I’d thought of researching how to be with someone in that state, instead of abandoning them.
-*** Time for this post? Reading…8 minutes. Viewing…9 minutes. Thinking about what you would do…as you wish.
After writing last week’s blog about being with the dying, it occurred to me that…
*** Time for this post? Reading…5 minutes. Viewing…an hour, but not necessarily all at once.
My life has not yet required me to be on hand when someone is dying. And I’m pretty sure that can’t continue. So I’ve been looking for good information about how to be with someone who’s near the end of life.
I found an excellent article about deathbed visiting which offers very practical tips based onthe author’s challenging experience of managing the death of a family member at home. Continue reading
*** Time for this post? Reading…2 minutes. Viewing…19 minutes. Taking it in…as you wish.
BJ Miller, a hospice doctor, says, “At the end of our lives, what do we most wish for? For many, it’s simply comfort, respect, and love.”
Yet the statistics show that most of us in our over-medicalized Western culture do not die that way. And it’s easy to see why.
Doctors are trained to keep us alive, There are a lot of treatments they can offer before giving in and saying the dreaded sentence, “There’s nothing more we can do.”
Now, let’s be clear. The blame doesn’t lie solely on the shoulders of doctors. We, the people who are offered these treatments, may not yet have come to terms with the fact that we will surely die sooner or later. In this mindset, we aim for quantity of life and lose sight of the quality of life we may really be aching for.
When we are uneasy about our inevitable death, we grasp at any possibility that’s offered to us. Yet, as Stephen Jenkinson says, the “more-time” bargain we make to avoid the end of life has consequences we never imagined.
*** Time for this post? Reading…5 minutes. Viewing…8 + 57 + 13 minutes. Exploring the highlighted resources…ongoing.
A doula is a non-medical person who provides support and nurturing to a person in life transition. Birth doulas provide information and nurturing care before and during birth, and death doulas do the same in the days and months leading up to death.
Death doulas generally have a holistic view that encompasses the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of end-of-life experiences, working with the family as well as the individual.
Other terms used to describe this work include end-of-life doula, end-of-life coach, end-of-life guide, death midwife, soul midwife, transition guide, death coach, and doula to the dying. Practitioners may have completed a certification course for death doulas, and usually bring a rich background of other training and skills that help them guide people through the end-of-life experience.
*** Time for this post? Reading… 3 minutes. Viewing… 12 + 59 minutes.
I loved the gentle way that Dr. Kathryn Mannix, in a previous post, described how the body shuts down as we approach our end of life.
I’m also interested in what happens as my soul meets death. In a way, I feel as if I actually know, but just haven’t quite remembered yet. So I’ve been looking into it in hopes of jogging my memory. Today I’m sharing what a couple researchers have found out about deathbed phenomena.
*** Time for this post? Reading…7 minutes. Thinking about why you keep what you do…optional.
I know people who feel they must purge their living and storage spaces before they die. Their intention is to make it easier for their family to wrap up their affairs. What a shame!
True, it might help the family dispatch the estate efficiently. But what will they miss out on?
I think there’s something to be gained when others go through what we leave behind. They may learn things about us that they didn’t know, remember long-forgotten events, and gain perspective on who we were.
The way I see it, this is part of our legacy—and we are shortchanging our survivors if we leave a stripped-down version of our life.
To be clear, I’m not advocating for leaving an unholy mess. Like Margareta Magnusson, I think I should take responsibility for what I keep. And part of what I want to keep is those things that illustrate my history. For example…
*** Time for this post? Reading…2 minutes. Viewing…4 minutes. Revisiting the video…as often as you need to.
I’ve never seen someone die. I probably will in the next while. I don’t know what to expect. So I’ve been looking into it and have found some reassuring information.
