Curiosity is the antidote to being stuck in that awful place when you know what to do and can’t make it happen. You are stuck, and might be inclined to beat yourself up about that. Instead, get curious about what is going on that’s keeping you stuck.
It might be that you’re not hurting enough yet to want to make the effort to get unstuck. You might be afraid of losing something when making lasting changes. There are a lot of gains we get from doing things as we’ve always done them, or doing what we know we shouldn’t be doing. Or you might feel you “should” do something, but part of you is resisting.
Whatever the case, this is an invitation to find out what’s really underlying your resistance to making a change. Being more self-aware and understanding ourselves is our superpower…when we use it.
Get curious on your own behalf.
Most adults would agree that curiosity is a good thing. And conscious parents of today encourage curiosity in their children.
It wasn’t always so. I grew up thinking that I should already know the answers and not bother people by asking “too many questions.” This trailer for a book by Dr. Warren Berger describes how we lose our inclination toward questioning. I don’t imagine I’m the only one to experience this.
With the awareness prompted by this video, I did one of my favourite energy psychology releases to free myself from being inhibited about asking questions. EFT tapping and The Emotion Code are both good tools to use. If you have hang-ups about asking questions, you might want to experiment with one or both of these methods, which I described over the past few weeks.
There are questions….and then there are beautiful questions.
Beautiful questions have no single answer. They encourage exploration. They are useful in any aspect of life, including resolving health issues.
In a recent interview, Dr. Berger gave several examples of beautiful questions—ones that foster exploration by expanding our thinking in any situation.
- Why…? This allows you to identify where you are, and keeps you from staying stuck or solving the wrong problem.
- What if…? This engages creativity and imagination. It fosters speculation about possibilities, and gives you ideas about what you might try.
- How might I…? This gives you a chance to explore how to make the idea real. What resources would it take? How can I mobilize them? What steps will be needed to implement this idea?
- What should I stop doing? We live in a culture where we think we have to do more and more. Sometimes removing things is the answer. Simplify. Pare down. Get down to what’s essential and everything becomes clearer.
He uses these questions in the context of creativity in business, but they are equally applicable in our personal lives. His website is fun and interesting. You might want to have a look. The Inquiry Quotient quiz is quick, fun, and a good way to learn some of the principles of asking questions that will spark change.