*** Time for this post? Reading… 7 minutes. Implementing… however long it takes to make the call that gets the ball rolling.
Most of us cringe when we think about making our wills.
Such a pain! Don’t even want to think about it. I know that I should…and I will do it… one of these days.
“One of these days” doesn’t come for all of us.
Some die suddenly and the family is left scrambling to find out what is where.
Others find themselves very ill, debilitated, and in the hospital—with family members delicately trying to find out if there is a will without appearing to hope the person will die so they can get their inheritance.
Not a pretty sight, and not what any of us would want if we were thinking rationally.
Interesting thing about death, though…
The topic of dying tends to evoke irrational responses. Here are a few reasons for this. What would you add?
- Trauma from a childhood experience involving the death of a family member, friend, or beloved pet.
- Fear of offending a dying person by bringing up the topic.
- Fear of sounding greedy or insensitive if you are an adult child wondering about what your parent’s wishes are and where they are recorded.
Most of us have emotional reactions to the reality and logistics of death. One way or another, our emotional blocks interfere with our ability to act reasonably and responsibly. Often we cope by avoiding talking or even thinking about all death-related things.
Discovering your own hangups and releasing them paves the way for you to have productive conversations around dying, whether you’re the child or the parent. In my experience, emotional blocks often respond to energy psychology modalities such as NLP and the Emotion Code.
Making a will is a lot of effort, especially if you have to jump over emotional hurdles before getting started. And then when you do get down to business, there are several important decisions waiting to be made.
Maybe it isn’t worth the trouble to make your will. You’ll die some day, whether or not you have a will.
What happens when there isn’t a will?
The government is prepared for those in the died-without-a-will group. Here’s how I explained it in Conscious Spending, Conscious Life:
Someone who dies without a valid will is said to have died intestate. When that happens, the Wills and Succession Act describes how the distribution of your belongings is determined.
Essentially, it sets out an order of distribution based on the family tree, starting with the closest relatives—spouse or partner, then children. If there are none, it goes to parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles and so on, in a prescribed order.
If no relatives are found within two years, the estate is turned over to the Alberta government and held under the Unclaimed Personal Property and Vested Property Act. Should no valid heir come forward within 10 years, the property belongs to the government.
If there is no will, and minor children are left without parents, the court appoints a guardian for them. The court’s main concern is the welfare of the children, and it will choose from among suitable family members, unless there are none. In this case, the children would be placed in a foster home.
Reading this, you might think that everything’s looked after under the legislation, so there’s no need to make a will. On the surface, that could appear to be true.
Why not just let the government handle it, then?
For one thing, it’s usually more complicated and expensive to process an estate when there isn’t a will. That means it’ll take more of your money and someone’s time to do the job.
For another thing, you can’t be sure that the specified succession pattern will suit your situation. And laws usually don’t allow adjustment to individual circumstances.
Modern lives are complicated and unique— A person is separated from a spouse (although not divorced) and living with another partner. There are families with children from different mothers or fathers. There are childless single people who want their estate left to a charity rather than their siblings. If it were possible to imagine all the scenarios that might arise during your life, you might be able to guess if the legislation would work in your favour or not.
But given all the unknowns, it’s probably easier to just bite the bullet and make your will so that you can have things your way…even after you die.
No motivation yet?
Does completing your death documents still seem like something that you should do rather than something you want to?
“Shoulds” are weak motivators because the direction and expectation is coming from a source outside of you. We need to find our own reasons, especially for tasks that aren’t any fun and may require us to make difficult decisions.
What if you had a mind shift?
A mind shift is simply a change of perspective. And often that’s the best way for us to unleash our motivation.
We all know that it’s a good idea to have certain documents in place when we die because we live in a culture that’s organized around these documents.
But if we don’t have them, we still die.
Dying without a will won’t cause any problems for you. You won’t be the one who has to deal with the laws pertaining to dead people and their belongings. Picking up the pieces will fall to those you leave behind.
If your will is still on your to-do list, find a lawyer. Make the appointment. Next week I’ll tell you how to prepare yourself for the meeting.
Please note: Laws vary between provinces, states, and countries. I’m using information from where I live to illustrate principles, but you will need to check the details in your jurisdiction. The Internet is a good place to start.